Thursday, August 6, 2009

Ah, Baby Fever is a little scary!

First let me update everyone on my family situation. My grandfather's surgery is next Thursday. Thank you for your prayers and will def keep you all updated!

I am currently dealing with a strong bout of baby fever. Those tiny hands and gurgles and smells. (well not all their smells, but most) But then as I begin to feel myself become all tingly with hormones I find my thoughts screeching to a hault and thinking - What?! How can I handle two? Cib is a full time job. How do mom's do two? How will I have time to bond with a second baby while battling a head strong toddler? Babies are expensive! What if my next baby has colic or doesnt sleep through the night or any of the other text book issues babies have that mine (and I do thank the Lord every day) did not. Cib was an excellent baby! Never hardly cried, slept through the night by two and half months, ate like a champ...easy, easy, easy. Then after I finish all my normal scary thoughts I go to the really scary thoughts. What if IVF doesnt work next time? What if I allow myself too far down the path of wanting and expecting another child and it doesnt happen? Ugh...

How are you suppose to know when the time is right? Babies are amazing. Being pregnant (for me) was amazing. I felt incredible when I was pregnant! But it seems like anytime second babies come up I am met with a lot of 'just waits'. Just wait until Cib is potty trained. Just wait until you get through the holidays. Just wait till everyone else in the family has had their moment of glory. Just wait....but for what? What magical thing will happen? Will all the endless amount of drama that is my family suddenly cease? I think not...

For now, all I can do is pray. Pray for clarity of God's perfect timing. Pray for patience until that timing comes. Pray for the amazing privilege of being a mommy to another child. Just pray, instead of just wait is my current stance.

4 comments:

the dowiaks said...

you are right on target, my friend. it happens when your precious baby turns 1. i think your approach is perfect. pray. i'll pray for you too. and, don't worry about the idea of having two kids. your thoughts are completely normal. i thought all the same stuff. i will admit it was harder adjusting to two than it was one, but that was just us. you may have no problem. i got a good sleeper the second time around, but a little more demanding. not bad. it IS crazy at times, but then you just have to think, it's easier than three or four or... i on the other hand have a baby that just turned one too and i do. not. want. another one. ...for now. :)

had fun last night!

Granny Nanny said...

Amen! Praying is the best solution! God has perfect timing - and He will not be budged - so listen - you will know. And God is amazing in that you wonder how you could possibly love two or more babies when your heart is full of one --- but hearts can expand more than you can imagine! Mine is full - but I'm ready for more-- can't wait! Love you - just know that you are NORMAL - it is good you are thinking of these things - makes your mind clearer when it all happens! Forever Nancy

Teri said...

Hilary and Nancy took the words out of my mouth :) LOL....there IS something about when your baby turns 1, isn't there?!
I will pray for you too. It is so hard to rely on His plans instead of our own. The idea of a second seems overwhelming for sure. But remember that Cib will be 9 months older and more independent, and that is huge. My second baby was much easier (which I think is often the case--but not always!); but a baby is a baby--you will be tired, you will have 2 little ones depending on you, you will wonder what you were thinking at times. I think God helps you grow as a mother at just the right rate....you never "feel" ready for it, but then it turns out you ARE ready when the time is right. & Nancy is right, a heart that is exploding with love for 1; will grow and explode with love for 2 (or 3, or 4 I imagine!)

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

It's NEVER a good time to have a baby.

It's ALWAYS a good time to have a baby.